Pantyhose - to wear or not to wear?

That is the question.

As evidenced by the plethora of opinions found on the internet, the subject of pantyhose is not a new topic. The most popular pondering on the topic of full lower body hosiery seems to be whether or not women wearing pantyhose (of the 'nylon' variety) aka tights - is still considered stylish. Also - if donning pantyhose is as practiced as once was. To go bare-legged is one fashion statement. To wear hose is another. The former is most often considered chic/young/free. The latter has been deemed one of two extremes: SexySleek (depending on the type of hose) or Old-Lady (more in keeping with what's in my closet).

I've yet to address the subject of pantyhose on b's blog. It is fashion after all, and we occasionally speak of wearables here, and so it goes. Those who are not interested may click away. Now. Here's a little not-about-pantyhose vid to send you on your merry way.

Here then, is my missive on the might and right of the humble pantyhose. On a personal note, this may not be a question of 'to wear or not to wear'. Rather, this may be a thinly disguised conversation with self about my ongoing quandary of 'keep'' or 'do away with?' superfluous stuff. With little doubt, it's a re-organizational query. No matter. Onward.

This morning, as I was putting some freshly laundered, air-dried and neatly folded socks (hand-knitted, BTW) away in my sock storage area, I had to - once again - shift a virtual mountain of pantyhose over to make room.

Having to shove a 2' high pile of folded pantyhose over to make room for precious hand-knitted socks has become a source of irritation to me. This may seem trite, and it is - but everyone knows how the little things add up to become major irritations, grouchiness, bitchiness and et cetera.

In speaking of pantyhose, do understand that I'm not addressing fun, pretty leg coverings to wear when one feels like being a hottie. Not going down the lacy garter belt, seamed and patterned super sheer hosiery route. We're talking about practical, regulation nylon pantyhose with cotton crotch and full spandex panty-like top. Full length lower body stretchy clingy hosiery. Thin to thickish knit elastic - at the same time - delicate to the point of easy breakage...

To keep or not to keep? To wear or not to wear?

Here are my facts:
(1) the substantial stack of still-new-in-the-packages (truth be known, these were probably purchased over a decade ago!) as well as slightly worn (then laundered) pantyhose (the last time worn might have been 5 or more years ago) in my possession has been kept clean/stacked beside my ever growing sock (did I already make mention that they are hand-knitted?) collection.

(2) I possess pantyhose in 'nude and suntan' tones, as well as in colors (gray-purple, black, navy, brown and I even have a muted green) are still being stored away with my accessories wardrobe for the sheer (obvious, but acceptable pun?) reason that I may someday wear them again.

To be sure ...

(3) I hate wearing pantyhose. Always have. Always will. The elasticized or snug fit waistband works itself into the creases of my muffin top belly. The intersection where the legs are attached to the 'panty part' pinches. Pantyhose will, and this is inevitable - get snagged on things - causing runs and holes - which ruin a pair of hose immediately. Especially when wearing brand new pantyhose, the wearer must be very wary to keep safe distance from jumping dogs, kitties (even for a cute stretch, they extend their claws), the edges of old wood coffee tables, woven baskets and other rough edged or pointed objects. Suffice it to say that it would be unwise to sit on a rustic wooden bench if you have a new pair of pantyhose on, with exposed legs peeping out from under skirt or dress. Even crossing one's legs may mean the pantyhose fabric grazing against one's own shoes - which can easily cause a snag. Snags = the bane of existence for the wearer of pantyhose. Sometimes I'll punch a hole in a brand new pair with thumb or forefinger - in the simple act of pulling pantyhose on. Arrrggh.

Points 1, 2 and 3 thus stated --- pantyhose, or better yet - the thicker weave of knit leg coverings that Americans differentiate from pantyhose by calling 'tights' - can actually be excellent leg coverings when worn for cooler weather, when bare legs need a bit of warmth under skirts. Legs are protected from cold fall and winter drafts. Keeps ya cozy. Yet, for me - there's still the problem of that strangulating elastic waist band digging into my mid-section.

I feel everything on my clothing. Tags, folds, loose nylon threads, fibers with any itchiness.
I also don't like dressing in layers. Pantyhose add one more layer to the dressing mix.
Wearing it can feel like a sausage casing for some of us who are sensitive to every shift of fabric as it tries to bind itself onto another fabric.
Yes, though relatively thick-skinned and indelicate (I really relate to my Southern Chinese Cantonese Farmer ancestry) -- I do have a little Princess & the Pea thing going here.

Given a choice, I'd live on a tropical island.
Wear a wonderfully loose fitting muu-muu type shift every day. The fewer layers the better.
Go bare-legged.

Well.
I guess that more or less settles the questions of both to wear or not to wear as well as to keep or get rid of.
Goodbye to the many practical, nude to deep brown to black colored nylon pantyhose in my sock storage area.

I don't need you no more.
Been there. Done that. Wore it. Sooooo over it.

(Ssshhhhhhhh - still keeping a couple pair of the warmer tights....)
(Just in case)

[pantyhose photo from treehugger.com]