Monday, March 12, 2007

You're ALL wet

I've taken many a swim lesson.
I have 'swum'.
I have even - taken dives off diving boards.
I did it well.
I've tread water for many minutes.
I don't like to do it.

Holding my breath under water is like torture to me.

After every series of swim lessons, my body conveniently forgets what it just learned how to do.
I go from 'swimmer' back to 'non-swimmer'.
Don't ask me how it happens, it just does.
Sometimes I wonder if I drowned in an earlier life...

Even now, I don't like to be put into a position to swim. Deep water freaks me out.
Swimming is not an enjoyable experience for me, though I still sometimes will get into a swimming pool and pretend it's OK.
But really - it's not.
Keep thinking that someday it will be good, and fine and OK - because really and truly, swimming looks like great fun.
I can backfloat for hours, but that does not look COOL and it's tough to see where one is going when backfloating....

I used to fantasize about having a house with a huge in-ground lap pool - all the better to practice and force myself to get good at swimming, maybe even learn to like it, because - I know - I know - I know -
swimming is a valuable skill.

A few days ago, I saw this movie on TV: Poseidon.
Besides the tension, excitement, edge-of-the-seat thrills, it's all about being stuck underwater, swimming, holding one's breath within an inch of one's life, drowning - I could barely
handle it.
I almost ran screaming.

One word movie review: GULP.


the pear said...

Pear was told to jump into the highschool pool or face flunking P.E. He mentioned that he couldn't swim. "Get in, NOW, mister!" But I can't swim. "You'll face an F!"

He jumped in.

You know those long pole thingies with a hook? Well they hauled him out just before he drowned.

Water dreams are nightmares for him.

But he does have a crAAAAzzy breastroke! It's nice to know he could save himself in a desperate churning way.

baffle said...

Ah - 'the Hook'. I know it all too well - having had one thrust at me in
8th grade P.E. class.
I was in the deep end, panicked, started to flounder, started to sink....

There was the Hook.

I was happy to grab it and hang on, but humiliated as well.

Me and Pear - sitting on the sidelines at the pool...
Taking swim lessons (AGAIN!) together...


P.S. Pear should not see 'Poseidon' - it'll have him gasping for air, like it did me.